The Poetry of Frustration
March 20, 2011 12:05 AM
While I was running errands this morning, over 100 messages appeared on this board. As you might suspect, many of these were not happy.
If you tried to buy Twins tickets today, I feel your pain. It sounds like a positively sisyphean experience.
But as I waded through the cries of your broken dreams (and broken links, and missing popups, and virtual waiting -- which sounds a lot like actual waiting), I began to recognize a language forming. It was the language of frustration -- more specifically, the poetry of frustration with the Twins' online ticketing system.
So, with apologies in advance to all whose words I'm about to apprehend, what follows is an anthology of poetry drawn from Saturday's comments, made from your angst-filled impressions of the Minnesota Twins 2011 Single Game Ticket Sale.
Staring at a screen
while scalpers fill their carts
to the brim
there are some things
that life is just too short for
I actually moved
back in line
even though it says
had a guy
my guy looks
so in a hurry
he might as well
in certain sections
you may not be seated together
or may be seated
in a more distant location
— Minnesota Twins
from the bathroom
to see Mr Cliffhanger
had moved up
to front of the line
Was first in line
now moved back to fourth
Must have smarted off
I'm still in the back
of the "electronic line"
going on 2 hours
or too aggravating
(manage your expectations)
I happened to be staring
at the timer run down
to zero seconds
for its 200th time
Gonna need to bill the Twins
for hemorrhoid meds
I WANTED to give you
my $500 Twins
I really did
I was not worthy
The 11th box
displays an ellipsis
which probably means
"You are actually
in 216th position,
to a virtual line
You are around the corner
down the street
and back around
the garbage burner
if you are in the 12th box
in the 11th box
in front of me
tells me that I am
from a damp corner
of a freeway underpass
soon within sight
of an abandoned
My virtual cliffhanger
is at the front of the line
and can see
the virtual ticket box
Dive at the ticket box
try to pick up one last game
got thrown off the system
now I'm on a plane
If it feels kind of lonely
sitting at your computer
by yourself at home
you're not alone
— Kevin Smith
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This page was last modified on June 9, 2011.
"You talk about the magic, the aura, but what really makes a stadium is the fans. Concrete doesn't talk back to you. Chairs don't talk back to you. It's the people who are there, day in, day out, that makes the place magic."
– Bernie Williams
Explore the Site
Here are 50 images chosen randomly from the 3042 found on this site. Click the image to be taken to the original post. A new list is created every 10 minutes.
A few details worth noticing (Kauffmann Stadium, New Comiskey, Comerica Park, Source: LP)
Hey! That limestone looks familiar!
Target HQ main entrance. Ballpark resemblance? (Inset.)
Scoreboard in profile against the skyline
Gate 6 Oliva, with the 573 Club looming large over it (I wonder how Tony feels about that)
This is the LRT bridge under construction as viewed from the east looking west. The ballpark facade would be at the left in this photo.
Most of the main concourse is filled with construction materials...
A final glimpse from the street of stadia installation along the left field line
This view is from the roof of a warehouse which stood where the A ramp is today. The HERC is now located where the tracks turned north (toward the top).
This is the revised version of the center field pavilion (without the restaurant). It looks like there are no seats, just some ledges for people to sit on. It reminds me of the seating on the "bridge" which sticks out of the new Guthrie Theater. Anything which lands in the trees will presumably be a home run, so the "411" sign is apparently just for fun.
The ballpark development area expanded by 1000 feet in each direction
B ramp improvements are finally becoming usable. The doors lead to the plaza beneath the skyway steps.
The Puckett atrium fireplace is just barely visible at the far left.
The Metrodome is converted to its football configuration after the Twins game on August 29, 2002
Now from the inside looking at the same area.
Winter approaches. But one day baseballs will fly where now there are cranes.
This is as close as I could get to a pedestrian-eye view of the main entrance. This is what you'll see as you enter by coming down Sixth Street.
Justin Morneau, mobbed after a game-winning homer on June 9
Where you are, and where you can go.
Click to see the whole, beautiful image. (Photo by Tyler Wycoff)
A mass of rebar and complicated cable runs ready for a pour.
Go get 'em, boys!
And another angle looking at the overhang area of the right field pavilion. This looks to me like a great area to watch a game.
Here's a closer look.
This view looks through the opening in the fence where the crosswalk will be.
Someone please get those poor people a drink of water. (Gate 34, after the game had started)
The 1963 team won 91 games! (Click to enlarge and see the names)
This is the outside portion of the Metropolitan Club.
The Metropolitan Club (click to enlarge)
BPM - Ballpark Magic
BRT - Bus Rapid Transit
DSP - Dave St. Peter
FSE - Full Season Equivalent
FYS - Fake Yankee Stadium (see also: NYS)
HERC - Hennepin Energy Resource Company (aka the Garbage Burner)
HPB - Home Plate Box
HRP - Home Run Porch
LC - Legends Club
LRT - Light Rail Transit
MBA - Minnesota Ballpark Authority (will own Target Field)
MOA - Mall of America
MSFC - Minnesota Sports Facilities Commission (owns the Metrodome)
NYS - New Yankee Stadium
SRO - Standing Room Only
STH - Season Ticket Holder
TCFBS - TCF Bank Stadium
TF - Target Field
Selected Bibliography - Analysis
First Edition (1992)
Second Edition (2006)
Selected Bibliography - Surveys
Second Edition (1987)
Not a "Third Edition" exactly,
but it replaced the above title
(2000, large coffee table)
Original edition (2000, round)
Revised edition (2006, round)
(2001, medium coffee table)
(2002, small coffee table)
(2003, medium coffee table)
(2004, very large coffee table)
(2006, very large coffee table)
Combines the previous two titles
(2007, medium coffee table)
Selected Bibliography - Nostalgia
Book and six ballpark miniatures